Sunday, October 13, 2013

Get Well Wish

Today, I have been working on a small stitch for a friend. She has been recovering from surgery, and I thought a small Get Well hanging charm would do some good.

I modified the original design by Joan Elliott - some color modification making it smaller for the needed size. The white border ribbon in the corner allows it to be hung in the car - or anywhere, for that matter, as a good luck or healing charm. I hope it works....
On a personal note, I am in need of a Get Well charm of some kind myself... I have had a rough couple of days talking to my... mother. For a very long time, our relationship has been very strained. Recently, I tried to reach out to her - again, but, it seems, in vain. My efforts were not appreciated, my questions not answered. Her exact words were, " If you expect us [your parents] to explain ourselves to you, we do not intend to do so.... If you feel you have been mistreated, it shows there is something wrong with you. If you keep thinking that way and living in the past, seek therapy. "
When I read other people's posts about their mothers, there are words of love, gratitude, kindness. I cannot say that about my mother. Most of my childhood I remember feeling guilty, terrified, or both. Something was always my fault. I was never like "other kids" (now that I think of that, she was never like "other mothers). Occasionally, she bragged to her friends about my grades, but she always added to me it was probably due to private tutors she hired. When I passed the exams to the St. Petersburg University, her reaction was, "Well, at least we did not pay all these teachers in vain." So, maybe it was the act of God - whichever god was watching over me at the time, as well as now, thank you! - that I went abroad, experienced a different life, eventually got married and moved away from my parents - for good. I built my own life, with no help from the family I came from. Whatever hardships I endured, I did not bother my mother with it, and never asked for help. Once, a friend said to me, "Surely, you can ask your mom and dad for assistance if things go bad." I answered, " I'd rather die."
For the past fifteen years, I have tried, the best I could, to try and figure out where I stand with her. I have tried to maintain a connection with her and my father - mostly for the sake of my children, feeling that it would be unfair to cut them off from their grandparents... But, as always with my parents, my best is not good enough. I think it is time to cut the ties, sever the bond... whatever the appropriate metaphor is. I am just so tired of this... whatever it is, it is no longer a relationship. If it is, maybe it's an abusive one.
So, a toast: to the end of a horrible relationship, the first one, the most intimate - and most unrewarding one -  in my entire life....  This is the end. No more.


  1. Yekaterina,

    How tragic. No words come that could answer such a deep family chasm, and shattering heartache.

    I hope you have a blessed day today with Joseph and your children, and enjoy more creative stitching.


  2. Thank you for your warm wishes, Dan! I think this has been coming for a while. Thankfully, I have a great support system.
    Say hello to your lovely wife from me and Joseph! Hope to get together with you both some time soon.


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