Saturday, May 26, 2018

Where Have I Been?

Hello, dear friends,

Once again, it has been a long time... This time, longer than usual. I bet those of you who still check back here wonder - where is she? Where has she gone?

I have had a lot of changes in my life over the past six months. Back in November, right after my last post here, I started to feel a bit more secure, like my life finally started to stabilize, so I decided to enroll in college. Nothing big, just one class - online, so I could do it on my own schedule. Same day I enrolled, my landlady gave me notice - two months. Two months to find a new place, to pay all the deposits, to move... My sense of stability flew right out of the window, and with it so did all my academic pride. What if I fail the class? What if I get on academic probation? Who cares! I was dealing with real life - and the real problem to be solved was "how not to end up on the street by February."
Rita after her Marimba performance

Frantic online searches, phone calls, appointments to view properties... Several callbacks with "sorry, the place has been rented" and "we'll call you back if anything comes up." Two weeks in, I started to panic: what if there is nothing out there for me? What are my options? What if... - and the endless string of "what ifs" would take over my brain, spinning and swirling were the possibilities of no shelter, no place to stay, and no way out. I was there before - only a year earlier. This time, I tried my best not to think of the "what ifs", but instead make a plan - and follow it. Do a search online - check. Call the places that are renting out - check. Pick up applications - check...Step by step, bullet point by bullet point, I forced myself to focus on what needed to be done  - then, at that moment, and delay the "what ifs" torture until as late as possible in the evening - and by then, it was my hope, I would be too tired to think.
Crystal on the quilt

When I say "there was nothing out there," I mean, of course - nothing within my means. There were plenty of rentals, both apartments and houses  - for someone who could afford $1600 a month as a starting price (utilities not included). I was looking for something a bit -- less. Roommates were not an option, as I quickly learned, -- my post on about "mother with two teenage daughters looking for a roommate to co-rent a 3-bedroom house" did not get any responses. Reaching out to another mother through the online chatroom (with two smaller children), I thought we could help each other: rent a small house - maybe even a 4-bedroom, - my income plus hers... That's what I thought - until I learned that she actually did not have any income. She did not work, - she had to take care of her two toddlers, living the best she could on public assistance. My heart went out to her - I was that mother once; heck, I was still that mother (I used my EBT card at the store much more often than I did my debit card), - but I could not help her. I needed to help myself.

Two and a half weeks into the search, still with no results, I came upon a property in the center of town - for just the amount I was looking for. True, it was only a one bedroom, but it was a house. I called the property manager and left a message.. which was returned with "sorry, it was already rented. We just took it off the site." Usual assurances that they would call me should anything else come up... Right, thank you. I hope to hear from you soon. 
And then I did. Two days after the "sorry" call, the manager called me with news. It's smaller than the one I wanted, it was also only one bedroom, but it's a bit less in price and - well, it just got ready to be shown. A small, old house (a duplex, actually), built in the 50-s... would I be interested to take a look?
Now it's May, and the rose outside my front door is in bloom.

I certainly was interested. We agreed to meet at the address on my next morning off.
When I came to the address, no one was there yet, - I was early. That is the truth of the bus schedules: you are either really early - or really late. So, not to be late, I am usually about 30 minutes early everywhere I go.. I used that time to look around. The small back yard - not much greenery there, but there was a metal shed - storage.. The street was narrow (which I liked), the sun came out - and I saw the neighbors' houses.. I was in the old town - not the fancy part of it with villas and carriage houses - but the working part: small, cozy cottages, trees, gardens - and so much sunlight.. well, at least that day.
(with the neighborhood in the background).

 Then the bells of the local church started ringing - and I was sold. I knew this was a place for me. So, when the agent showed up to open up the house for me and I saw that it was small, it did not discourage me. I liked the kitchen sink, the walk-in closet, and most of all - the light. It was streaming through all the windows. It occurred to me then that I would probably not need to turn on the lamps until the sun was down. Add the central location - five minutes away from the bus station and the library, ten minutes away from college - and I said yes. The paperwork was filled out. The deposit was agreed on.. For the next few days, I had to wait, until I got the news: yes, the owners agreed. The manager also added: "We want to work with you because you have good credit." Instead of saying "really?" I chose to simply say "Thank you." And made a mental note to check my credit when I had the chance.
The field outside my window. 

And so we are here - since February. The sun is bright (unless it's cloudy or raining), the church bells ring down the street - although, I still have not figured out what they are ringing about; they ring randomly from one to thirty two bells, approximately every half hour. What time is it? I cannot tell, not by the bells. But - the sound is beautiful, and that is what counts.

P.S. If you have read my current rambling all the way to the end - thank you! Next time, I will be talking about more changes - and cross stitch pieces I have finished (or have been trying to) over the past months. If you are not bored - please stop by again... and leave a comment.
Thank you.

Until next time, 


  1. I`m so glad you`ve found a new home for yourself and the girls! :) Your determination and will to get whatever needs done, done, is awe-inspiring! Good luck with college and all the best for the future - you deserve it! :) xx

    1. Thank you so much, Laura! It's a step-by-step process, and my next step is to re-establish my blog. :) And to finish my sampler - can you believe it is STILL not done? Thank you for your comment, it inspires me to keep writing. Happy stitching!


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