Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Down Time

For the past two weeks, I have  been feeling down. To be more precise, I have been feeling like... crap. That's right. I restarted college and even university - big dreams about BS degree (ha, ha), but lately I do not feel like doing anything. Don't want to write essays, don't want to do assignments -- simply because I feel that next semester I will not be at the university. Who can afford the tuition? Two thousand dollars a class - wow! I asked Financial Aid office for help - their answer is "Take out loans." Right... 
I started a new job - actually, restarted the old one I used to have at a local college, working at the Computer Lab as an "Tech Assistant." Part-time, 20 hours a week. Not much, but it's something. It has its perks - access to the computers, flexible schedule, studying Microsoft Office programs... 
What's the point? What's the reason for - living, learning, aging?
 What the hell am I here for???
I do not know. And none of their classes will teach me or tell me that. Also, none of my education can teach me about being a parent.... 
See you all later 

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

The Nicest Person He Ever Met

Why me? Because you are the nicest
Person I ever met, - he says. - After Grandma.
He must have misspoken, I think. I am
The vicious enforcer, I come from
The land of "No," I never
Let him do what he wants, I always
Make him do what he has to. At dinner, I 
Holler at them: " Put your feet
Down! Sit up 
Straight!" Each evening, I check their
Homework, backpacks, reading, showers. 
I used to think that being mom means 
Giving them hugs and kisses
 Holding them when they are sad,
Being happy when they  are happy. Now
The main thing seems to be 
Telling them what to do, checking, and
Hoping that
Some day it will
 Make a difference.