Finally, the holiday run is over! I am done with work - for now - and trying to get back to my "routine". So far, not very successful, but I will get there... But let me start at the beginning...
At the end of the summer, all inspired and excited by my educational achievements and full of energy, I signed up for a 'full load" of classes - full time, 12 units, most of them online, one of them in the evening. I thought I could do it - I had done it before!
Then, in October, a job came - temporary, but long-term and full-time. I was still OK - I expected it, counted on it, knew it was going to come. But after a full day of work coming to school twice a week, plus homework every night, including weekends, became more difficult. Sometimes I caught myself wondering how badly I really needed that diploma (a dangerous line of thought)... Finally, one time the teacher mentioned that my "attendance is not really that important in the grade calculation, and neither is homework." I still don't know why he said it and if he really meant what he said, but for me that was the last drop. I left class early that day and did not come back. The rest of the classes, although I seemed to be doing decently in them, followed... Unfortunately, it was too late to withdraw from any of the courses, so I quietly took all F's and, as some might say, retired with dignity.
I know what it looks like: I have made a rash decision, my education has suffered and my GPA is down, and I will have to "fix" it by re-taking every class all over again. I know that, and yet I don't feel bad, I believe I have made the right decision. I could have suffered through the semester and come out with decent grades (hopefully), but instead I chose to have real life experiences. I played and talked with my children. I spent time with my friends. I took walks on the beach. I celebrated birthdays and holidays - my own, my husbands' and also our 10-year anniversary - and for once I was not dead tired, I was able to enjoy them... I have never had so much fun or been so happy, sad, surprised, bewildered (the whole range of emotions) - before. So, overall, I believe I did the right thing - to the point that having all F's adds to life experience, another one I have never had before.
At the end of the summer, all inspired and excited by my educational achievements and full of energy, I signed up for a 'full load" of classes - full time, 12 units, most of them online, one of them in the evening. I thought I could do it - I had done it before!
Then, in October, a job came - temporary, but long-term and full-time. I was still OK - I expected it, counted on it, knew it was going to come. But after a full day of work coming to school twice a week, plus homework every night, including weekends, became more difficult. Sometimes I caught myself wondering how badly I really needed that diploma (a dangerous line of thought)... Finally, one time the teacher mentioned that my "attendance is not really that important in the grade calculation, and neither is homework." I still don't know why he said it and if he really meant what he said, but for me that was the last drop. I left class early that day and did not come back. The rest of the classes, although I seemed to be doing decently in them, followed... Unfortunately, it was too late to withdraw from any of the courses, so I quietly took all F's and, as some might say, retired with dignity.
I know what it looks like: I have made a rash decision, my education has suffered and my GPA is down, and I will have to "fix" it by re-taking every class all over again. I know that, and yet I don't feel bad, I believe I have made the right decision. I could have suffered through the semester and come out with decent grades (hopefully), but instead I chose to have real life experiences. I played and talked with my children. I spent time with my friends. I took walks on the beach. I celebrated birthdays and holidays - my own, my husbands' and also our 10-year anniversary - and for once I was not dead tired, I was able to enjoy them... I have never had so much fun or been so happy, sad, surprised, bewildered (the whole range of emotions) - before. So, overall, I believe I did the right thing - to the point that having all F's adds to life experience, another one I have never had before.
Quite right, my friend! I totally agree. It took me over half a year to realise that I shouldn`t feel guilty for stealing these moments from the all-important model stitching - it seems ridiculous now that work (and not just stitching but ANY kind of work I did in the past) should come before those precious moments you spend with your family, talking to a friend or just relaxing so that later you can enjoy whatever you`re doing just that wee bit more. So I say, good for you and I`m glad you`re back! :) xx
ReplyDeleteThank you, Laura! It's good to be back. )))
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