Hello, dear friends,
It has been about two weeks since my last post, so it feels like a good time for another update.
When I start thinking about it, I really don't know where to start: my job? my life? my stitching? So many things changed so quickly in my life - and still keep changing - that two weeks feel like two months - or even longer. One steady feeling, though, that has been growing in me - and me - is Self-Confidence. The more I go through things, the more I face these challenges - big and small - the more I feel, " I can do this!" I can do this - all by myself.
Then again, I am not "all by myself." My daughters are with me, and they are a great comfort. For the first time in many years, I feel like I can talk to them - and they to me - without pretense. We say it like it is. There is no need for false and fake "niceties," forced expressions of respect. If they are unhappy or they disagree with me - they tell me. If - or when - I need to say something - I do. No long speeches, no put downs, no theatrics... And it works. I feel, finally, that we are on the same team. We understand each other - at least as much as it is possible between two teenage daughters and their mother. And, finally - I feel like we have our privacy. Nobody is watching. This is not Cinema Verite, there are no hidden cameras. (Not that there ever actually were cameras, but in my marriage, I often felt like I was in a sitcom, cast for a supporting role. I cannot tell you how much relief it brings to drop that kind of pretense.)
Next week will be the seventh week (already?) of my new job. I am starting to feel a bit more confident in my position - that is, I don't have to ask every five minutes for directions, - but now, I feel, the challenge is not to become over confident. I have a lot to learn here, and sometimes being silent and listening is better and more productive than talking and trying to "get things done." Often, that is a very good approach to life in general, too.
With all the work and chores, there is very limited time left for stitching - but my Aquarius has grown arms since the last time I posted. Slow and steady, it grows....
Until next time,
It has been about two weeks since my last post, so it feels like a good time for another update.
When I start thinking about it, I really don't know where to start: my job? my life? my stitching? So many things changed so quickly in my life - and still keep changing - that two weeks feel like two months - or even longer. One steady feeling, though, that has been growing in me - and me - is Self-Confidence. The more I go through things, the more I face these challenges - big and small - the more I feel, " I can do this!" I can do this - all by myself.
Then again, I am not "all by myself." My daughters are with me, and they are a great comfort. For the first time in many years, I feel like I can talk to them - and they to me - without pretense. We say it like it is. There is no need for false and fake "niceties," forced expressions of respect. If they are unhappy or they disagree with me - they tell me. If - or when - I need to say something - I do. No long speeches, no put downs, no theatrics... And it works. I feel, finally, that we are on the same team. We understand each other - at least as much as it is possible between two teenage daughters and their mother. And, finally - I feel like we have our privacy. Nobody is watching. This is not Cinema Verite, there are no hidden cameras. (Not that there ever actually were cameras, but in my marriage, I often felt like I was in a sitcom, cast for a supporting role. I cannot tell you how much relief it brings to drop that kind of pretense.)
Next week will be the seventh week (already?) of my new job. I am starting to feel a bit more confident in my position - that is, I don't have to ask every five minutes for directions, - but now, I feel, the challenge is not to become over confident. I have a lot to learn here, and sometimes being silent and listening is better and more productive than talking and trying to "get things done." Often, that is a very good approach to life in general, too.
With all the work and chores, there is very limited time left for stitching - but my Aquarius has grown arms since the last time I posted. Slow and steady, it grows....
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| "Aquarius" WIP |
Until next time,
