Yesterday we went to Santa Barbara - the Museum of Natural History has their "Butterflies Alive" exhibit. It is a small garden, and the different species of butterflies are released in it, hundreds of them. To make sure they do not fly away, the garden is surrounded by a net. We were told to be careful and not touch them, but they, apparently, can sit on us if they choose.
Vera kept trying to persuade the butterflies to sit on her, sticking out her fingers and putting them in front of the flowers. Rita, on the contrary, kept ducking every time a butterfly flew past her. She said she did not want them to land on her head.
After the exhibit, we decided to go to the French Festival - the poster said it was something good and educational. Well, it turned out to be noisy, hot, and expensive. It was filled with vendor trucks from all over, and it had "Authentic French BBQ" Are you kidding me? French do not have "authentic" Barbeque, I don't think the word is even in their vocabulary! And their "French Ice Cream" was nothing but your regular vendor 7-11 ice cream, only the price was $4 a pop. "Authentic French Bakery" had French Bread, the kind they sell at Vons, and crepes like at IHOP. Ridiculous. Even the bounce house was $3-5 for 5 minutes. And the books on the stands were used, but sold at the price of new....
In short, it was one big attempt of the local vendors and artists to sell their stuff with the French theme as a cover up. The only thing that was mildly amusing was the group of girls -six or seven of them - dressed up as French dancers. They were posing, and Joe took their picture.
So, after this hot disappointment we went to the Aquarium - right on the pier, it's an extension of SB Natural History Museum. There the kids had some fun: they looked at the snails, the hermit crabs, starfish, and they were even allowed to touch them. We saw the baby sharks in one of the tanks. Now that was fun.
I learned that some species of sharks start hunting before they are even born. When the eggs get hatched inside the mother's body, there is no placenta attached to the baby, so it has to eat the unhatched eggs and smaller siblings inside the mother to survive until it is born and out of her woom. So, the survivors of these species are born ready to hunt and have death of their siblings on their conscience, so to speak...
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Stitching Time, Summer Time
Well, it looks like I am going to have my first actual day off tomorrow. I do need it: for the past two days, I've been falling asleep practically right after coming back from work. Which meant - I have been neglecting my cross-stitch project. I am sooo close to finishing it... It's a Celestial Lady with the Zodiac Signs all around her. I am going to try and take a picture.
With the summer vacation, my children have acquired the ability to attract mud and dirt at a distance; it seems that no matter how often they shower, they still manage to stay dirty. Oh well, maybe that's what summer is for. For children, anyway. I don't remember - I have not been a child for a long time. For me, summer is the time when I work just as much as during the rest of the year, but also try to accomodate for some "educational" and fun trips for the whole family. As a result, your schedule becomes twice as busy as usual, and, well, that means - the Celestial Lady lays unfinished.
I am going to try and finish her by the end of summer.
With the summer vacation, my children have acquired the ability to attract mud and dirt at a distance; it seems that no matter how often they shower, they still manage to stay dirty. Oh well, maybe that's what summer is for. For children, anyway. I don't remember - I have not been a child for a long time. For me, summer is the time when I work just as much as during the rest of the year, but also try to accomodate for some "educational" and fun trips for the whole family. As a result, your schedule becomes twice as busy as usual, and, well, that means - the Celestial Lady lays unfinished.
I am going to try and finish her by the end of summer.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
School and Home Life
Once again, it has been a while. Where do I start? First of all, I have a new job. I am a preschool teacher. Yeah! Finally! I get to use my knowledge and do what I was going to school for. I work for the Head Start program, and my official title is "Associate (substitute) teacher." The "substitute" part means "temporary," as one of the teachers let me know, but I do not feel like a temp. I feel needed and important. I feel recognized for what I do. I like the children I work with. Of course, there are stressful and unpleasant moments -just like anywhere - but generally, I feel so good that sometimes I wonder if it's true. Part of me is waiting for that other shoe to drop. I hope it never does.
The main difference between being a teacher and any other job out there is that every day there is something new, something to teach, something to learn. Every day I learn something new; every day, at least one child learns something new. It is never the same, or boring, or mundane. Also, at the end of the day, observing a child color a picture is more rewarding than recognizing that you have registered a $40,000 deposit for the company. It's not even your company, or your $40,000.
At home it's time for Summer Vacation - once again. No more school, no more homework. Sleepovers and sleeping in for my kids, less stress and more rest after work - for me. It's a win-win!
Of course, there are issues and problems, and there are doubts and worries... But, like the heroine from 'Gone with the Wind" said, " I will not think about it now. I'll think about it tomorrow!"
The main difference between being a teacher and any other job out there is that every day there is something new, something to teach, something to learn. Every day I learn something new; every day, at least one child learns something new. It is never the same, or boring, or mundane. Also, at the end of the day, observing a child color a picture is more rewarding than recognizing that you have registered a $40,000 deposit for the company. It's not even your company, or your $40,000.
At home it's time for Summer Vacation - once again. No more school, no more homework. Sleepovers and sleeping in for my kids, less stress and more rest after work - for me. It's a win-win!
Of course, there are issues and problems, and there are doubts and worries... But, like the heroine from 'Gone with the Wind" said, " I will not think about it now. I'll think about it tomorrow!"
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Update
Hello, everyone who cares,
For a while, I did not want to write anything, because there was nothing good to write - or, at least, nothing good enough to bother opening the web page. Our computer is very slow, and it takes nearly ten minutes just to open the Internet Explorer, so by the time I log in to the site, my motivation to write anything is often gone.
Today I have a piece of news good enough for posting: Community Action Commission hired me for a position of a substitute teacher! Plain English - I will be a pre-school teacher at Head Start in Santa Maria area, substituting for teachers that are sick or on vacation. Apparently, Santa Maria has around 18 locations (I was surprised), so the work will be coming soon. Also, the Head Start will be working with my schedule, and I get to choose which assignments to take and what schedule to work.
Although the potential to make money and work my own hours is exciting, the main reason I feel good is because I finally get to do something I have had training for, something professionally sound. The flexible schedule and the potential to advance are nice perks, but it will give me a chance to determine whether I am made for this work before I commit to a full-time shedule.
In addition, I submitted my poems and short story to "Harvest" - Allan Hancock literary journal. We'll see what happens...
For a while, I did not want to write anything, because there was nothing good to write - or, at least, nothing good enough to bother opening the web page. Our computer is very slow, and it takes nearly ten minutes just to open the Internet Explorer, so by the time I log in to the site, my motivation to write anything is often gone.
Today I have a piece of news good enough for posting: Community Action Commission hired me for a position of a substitute teacher! Plain English - I will be a pre-school teacher at Head Start in Santa Maria area, substituting for teachers that are sick or on vacation. Apparently, Santa Maria has around 18 locations (I was surprised), so the work will be coming soon. Also, the Head Start will be working with my schedule, and I get to choose which assignments to take and what schedule to work.
Although the potential to make money and work my own hours is exciting, the main reason I feel good is because I finally get to do something I have had training for, something professionally sound. The flexible schedule and the potential to advance are nice perks, but it will give me a chance to determine whether I am made for this work before I commit to a full-time shedule.
In addition, I submitted my poems and short story to "Harvest" - Allan Hancock literary journal. We'll see what happens...
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Unemployment (part 2)
Here I am; it has been alsmost a week since I got fired. A good friend of mine told me that I have the right to be upset, but I have only one week to complain about it. After one week I have to fully focus on finding another job, and that means - stop bitching. Easier said than done, of course...
I did find out the exact reason they fired me for. It was a single mistake, and I did not make it alone (at least that's my opinion), but I was the one that had to "pay" for it and got fired. The driver gave me the wrong information, and I automatically repeated it to someone else, without verifying. Then, someone else called the customer - without verifying. As a result, the wrong customer got contacted and accused of something, and, of course, that looks bad. Well, out of the line of three people I was the one that took a hit. That's all. But, surprisingly, now that I know exactly what happened, I feel better. No more second-guessing and wondering. "You made a mistake" is definitely more informative than "you do not fit our company."
Well, I am back on the market, looking for the office/AR job; let me know if you find something, please... Back to school and job hunting.
Later
I did find out the exact reason they fired me for. It was a single mistake, and I did not make it alone (at least that's my opinion), but I was the one that had to "pay" for it and got fired. The driver gave me the wrong information, and I automatically repeated it to someone else, without verifying. Then, someone else called the customer - without verifying. As a result, the wrong customer got contacted and accused of something, and, of course, that looks bad. Well, out of the line of three people I was the one that took a hit. That's all. But, surprisingly, now that I know exactly what happened, I feel better. No more second-guessing and wondering. "You made a mistake" is definitely more informative than "you do not fit our company."
Well, I am back on the market, looking for the office/AR job; let me know if you find something, please... Back to school and job hunting.
Later
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Another Poem
In this unreal world only my dreams are real.
They speak of living truth that's sacred to my heart
And keep me sane through this insane ordeal -
My life - a mediocre play in which I'm forced to play my part.
A play that's full of actors: fickle friends,
With their forceful hugs, their insincere praise.
The whole script is based on "means and ends":
They stick around - while the "friendship" pays.
I do not know you. Leave me alone. Forget me.
For, conscious that I live, I'm not afraid to die
In hoping that death could be the portal
To greater Truth - after the lies of life
They speak of living truth that's sacred to my heart
And keep me sane through this insane ordeal -
My life - a mediocre play in which I'm forced to play my part.
A play that's full of actors: fickle friends,
With their forceful hugs, their insincere praise.
The whole script is based on "means and ends":
They stick around - while the "friendship" pays.
I do not know you. Leave me alone. Forget me.
For, conscious that I live, I'm not afraid to die
In hoping that death could be the portal
To greater Truth - after the lies of life
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Employment/Unemployment thoughts
It has been a while since I could write anything here, mainly because I was so busy working... Well, now work is no longer a problem... that is, yesterday I was fired. What was that phrase they used? Aha: "You are being released." It sounded funny, like they were relieving me from some burden that I no longer had to carry, while in reality they added a new problem and a burden to my life: now I am unemployed...
The whole thing happened so quickly that I was shocked. After the first three words hit - "You are being released" - everything else took a while to process. I remember trying to ask questions - why? what happened? have I done something wrong? I remember the office manager saying "you are not a good fit for this company" - what am I, a dress? - and "unsatisfactory performance on the job." Wait a minute, hold on... I have been with this company, doing this job, for the past eight months. I went from a temporary position to a permanent, and got a raise. Did it really take them that long to figure out that I was not good on my job? Why did they... keep me that long? Why did they not fire me during my probation period? WHO GAVE THEM THE RIGHT TO TREAT ME LIKE A PIECE OF PROPERTY, SOMETHING TO BE USED AND THROWN AWAY, BECAUSE IT'S "NOT A GOOD FIT"?
I tried to bring up a few points in my defense, but it was obvious that my right to speak was purely symbolic. The decision was already made, and nothing could possibly change it... I felt tears on my face, and I remember being annoyed with it - why did I have to cry in front of them? I could not stop, that's all. I was thinking about having to go out there and to tell my children that I did not have a job any more... And there was that... creature standing in front of me, and right when I drop the pen and turn around to pick it up, she says, "I wish you the best." WHAT?? I wanted to say " save it" or "fuck you," but I caught myself - at least I think I did. Instead, I said something like, "Right," I think. I think my eyes spoke louder and clearer than my voice, because she quickly walked out of the office...
The owner of the company was a bit nicer. She did not seem to know why exactly I was being released - I honestly think it was the manager's decision... Perhaps, the owner was there just to sign the papers and to go over the "legalities..." Well, maybe to be nice. And she was. She said she would give me a letter of recommendation. She said with my skills I could find another job, and that my skills were valuable, just not for this particular job... She said some other things that were meant to be nice and comforting, I suppose, but I do not remember them all... I was thinking about going out to my children and telling them about what happened. I was thinking that this nice old lady could not possibly comprehend my situation. There was nothing more to discuss, really, just the old go-around: "not a good match," does not fit..." When I walked out of there, not feeling my legs, she said - and it sounded sincere,"Good luck to you." I said "thanks" and kept walking, afraid to start bowling right in front of her...
It took me about twenty four hours to start thinking somewhat clearly.... Bottom line, on Monday I am going back to the Agency, and I hope they can find another job for me... I have to go on. I have responsibilities, and those responsibilities need to stay warm, fed, and with roof over their heads and clothes to wear... I just hope that the person who made that decision - who really wanted me gone (and I do not think that the reason they gave me was the real one) - I hope that she gets what she deserves... What goes around, comes around, you know... I wonder how she is going to feel when one day someone wishes her the best - right after sticking the proverbial knife in her back and twisting it in the wound... Will she be able to hold the tears?
The whole thing happened so quickly that I was shocked. After the first three words hit - "You are being released" - everything else took a while to process. I remember trying to ask questions - why? what happened? have I done something wrong? I remember the office manager saying "you are not a good fit for this company" - what am I, a dress? - and "unsatisfactory performance on the job." Wait a minute, hold on... I have been with this company, doing this job, for the past eight months. I went from a temporary position to a permanent, and got a raise. Did it really take them that long to figure out that I was not good on my job? Why did they... keep me that long? Why did they not fire me during my probation period? WHO GAVE THEM THE RIGHT TO TREAT ME LIKE A PIECE OF PROPERTY, SOMETHING TO BE USED AND THROWN AWAY, BECAUSE IT'S "NOT A GOOD FIT"?
I tried to bring up a few points in my defense, but it was obvious that my right to speak was purely symbolic. The decision was already made, and nothing could possibly change it... I felt tears on my face, and I remember being annoyed with it - why did I have to cry in front of them? I could not stop, that's all. I was thinking about having to go out there and to tell my children that I did not have a job any more... And there was that... creature standing in front of me, and right when I drop the pen and turn around to pick it up, she says, "I wish you the best." WHAT?? I wanted to say " save it" or "fuck you," but I caught myself - at least I think I did. Instead, I said something like, "Right," I think. I think my eyes spoke louder and clearer than my voice, because she quickly walked out of the office...
The owner of the company was a bit nicer. She did not seem to know why exactly I was being released - I honestly think it was the manager's decision... Perhaps, the owner was there just to sign the papers and to go over the "legalities..." Well, maybe to be nice. And she was. She said she would give me a letter of recommendation. She said with my skills I could find another job, and that my skills were valuable, just not for this particular job... She said some other things that were meant to be nice and comforting, I suppose, but I do not remember them all... I was thinking about going out to my children and telling them about what happened. I was thinking that this nice old lady could not possibly comprehend my situation. There was nothing more to discuss, really, just the old go-around: "not a good match," does not fit..." When I walked out of there, not feeling my legs, she said - and it sounded sincere,"Good luck to you." I said "thanks" and kept walking, afraid to start bowling right in front of her...
It took me about twenty four hours to start thinking somewhat clearly.... Bottom line, on Monday I am going back to the Agency, and I hope they can find another job for me... I have to go on. I have responsibilities, and those responsibilities need to stay warm, fed, and with roof over their heads and clothes to wear... I just hope that the person who made that decision - who really wanted me gone (and I do not think that the reason they gave me was the real one) - I hope that she gets what she deserves... What goes around, comes around, you know... I wonder how she is going to feel when one day someone wishes her the best - right after sticking the proverbial knife in her back and twisting it in the wound... Will she be able to hold the tears?
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